Friday, October 21, 2011

Big Test Jitters Never Go Away


It seems right that I have opened my own movement studio in October.  It is my favorite time of year, both for its weather and for that back-to-school feeling that seems like it will never go away for me. I will forever run internally on a calendar that says September is the beginning.

If this is the beginning of the school year, then, I am in that first-big-paper-or-test-is-coming state.

Can you say "Panic Much?"

You think you've studied enough or gathered enough sources or whatever but then it's the night before the test and you are tossing and turning and sweating out buckets of nervous.

Am I really ready?

Are we ever?

We still have to pull on our Big Girl Pants and walk into that classroom.  Everything we've done is all we can do at this point.

At some point, you have to just jump in...

There is no perfect time to do something this BIG.  No perfect moment to announce it to the world.  No perfect amount of anything can be done to make it perfect from the first.

There is no perfect.

There is only your best efforts right in this moment.

Someone expressed surprise that I opened the studio without having it "ready," i.e., it wasn't painted or decorated or anything.

The floor was clean.  The bathroom and the windows were clean.  The music was ready to play.

The rest is icing and it will get done when it gets done.

I still have that pre-test, pre-big assignment knot in my stomach...

I just have learned to ignore it.