Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Fearful and Grippy Decisions Suck (the life out of you)

When I made the decision to rent my own studio space (wall above is courtesy of Marcy, of course), I knew I could have the studio with my current student base.

But as soon as I decided to open this space, I started feeling really grippy.  Fearful.

A friend had to remind me that I made my choice from a place of abundance and enough-ness and that I needed to continue to make choices from that same place or I would start doing things that I didn't want or need to do.

This is a lesson that I have to keep learning over and over.

When I do make a decision based on grippy and fear, I know right away because within hours or days, my tummy starts to hurt. I feel like vomiting when I think about what I have done.

I am getting quicker with this cycle now, though, and recognizing that the vomit feeling comes as I think about the decision -- not just after the fact.

Body is so super smart!

I have been offered more teaching opportunities outside my studio. I am going to say no.

This is hard. It is easy to think that the extra money "wouldn't hurt."

But the thing would.  Hurt.

It would hurt my creativity.  I would have less time to work on my own movement practice or to dream up new ideas.

It would hurt my vitality.  I would rest even less than I do now, and I am only just beginning to learn to rest.

The coolest part of this little story is that after realizing that I was going to have to say no to more teaching, I was asked by someone new if they could lease some space from me during times when I am not using the space at all.

What do you need to say no to to make room for more yes?