Friday, February 3, 2012

Fears Erased Here or How to Drown Your Monsters


You can't tell, of course, from the photo, but when I took this, it was a VERY windy day. "Very windy" on our Great Lake means the kind of wind that can just about lift me off of my feet, so I was surprised when the photos turned out to be not blurry. I thought for sure the wind would have made it impossible for me to get such clear shots.

I sometimes am smart enough to head to this beautiful lake when I am feeling the Fear Monsters chasing me around in circles.

Sometimes I am smart enough to dance.  The Fear Monsters get dizzy when I am dancing and eventually they start running into each other as I weave my way in and out and through and around them, and as with all kinds of Monsters, running into each other makes them super mad and then they start eating each other.

Instead of me or my heart.  Making monsters eat each other is a primary drive behind my dance practice.

Depression and anxiety are just Fear and Anger and Grief Monsters that you have turned against yourself.  You know...instead of pointing that Fear, Anger, or Grief at the thing, event, or person who really deserves it.

I've spent my life aiming those Monsters at me, and finally, I don't any more.

Most of the time.

I still have days...

Again, on those days, if I am really paying attention, I dance or go to the lake's edge.

I have also found that speaking fears aloud somehow takes power from the Monster in possession of it.

So that's what I am going to ask you to do today.  In the comments, in an email to me, on a piece of paper that you burn...state your Biggest Fear/Anger/Sadness that some ugly ass Monster is using to hurt you.

Say it aloud.  Through writing or speech -- but it has to be aloud.

Then go sit at a large body of water or dance.  Perhaps dance to this.

And because I believe in being a good role model: My biggest fear is that I will be left by the people I love. They will decide I am, indeed, too much to handle.

I have drowned that particular monster over and over in lake and dance and expect I will have to do so many more times in this life, but every time I hear that damn ugliness gasp to its death, I get a little bit stronger...