Friday, May 18, 2012
The Poison of the Modesty Game or Why Don't You Value Your Gifts More?
I am a gifted teacher.
There. I said it.
I am trying to own that.
It doesn't matter what I am teaching -- whether dance or writing -- I have that special "thing."
Are you thinking, "My...doesn't she think highly of herself?!"
Why are you thinking that? (Because, you know...it's really about you.)
I have spent a long time thinking things like that about myself so no need to do it for me.
We are taught to be "modest."
But much of our modesty is either false or it is really a way to keep ourselves in our "place."
Women in our culture are especially taught not to brag.
There is another layer to this.
We are taught that we are not to think of ourselves as "special."
I have learned this lesson, for sure.
So...anything I am good at must be easy because I am not inherently special, and therefore anything I am good at must be something that comes quite easily and naturally to others.
(Does any of this sound familiar?)
I am learning this lesson BIG TIME as a studio owner.
I assume that someone else coming into my space will have the same ideas about teaching, will have the same skills.
I am learning that assuming really does, you know...
So I have decided that the first step to solve this Assuming Problem is to value my skills.
We each have skills but they are not the same and sometimes we have special skills.
Sometimes we have special skills that even people who went to school for something don't necessarily have, because sometimes we have Natural Born Talent for something.
It's okay to stop playing this damn modesty game. It keeps us small.
We are born to be Radiant with ourselves...to shine our gifts out to the world.