Friday, June 1, 2012

Body Monsters

Lalique perfume bottles, Corning Museum of Glass

Over the long weekend, Marcy and I had a graduation event to attend and so I canceled classes and we headed to the Corning Museum of Glass as it was on our way and we had always wanted to go.

It was lovely.

Three days without any teaching or dancing...not so much.

During class this week, a student shared that missing a week was too much for her and she had gone to her "dark place" regarding her relationship to her body.

I and this student share this in common, for sure.

Three days without any dancing or good physical activity (and many hours in a car) had also put ME in my dark place.

My body dysmorphia came for a visit.  I started thinking my thighs were approximately three feet in diameter.  Suddenly, I could barely stand the sight of my upper arms.

Now that I am aware that this is my mind playing tricks on me, I can see it happening and I tell Marcy so that I don't end up "acting out" of this space.

It seems that these things never go away...that we just get a little better at dealing with them.

If you suffer from body dysmorphia or disordered eating, has this been your experience?  That during times of stress or changes in routine it all comes back?

And might I add...thank GOD for dancing and getting back to teaching.  Today as I was working with my elder dancers, I caught sight of myself in a mirror and could not imagine ever being disgusted by those strong, lovely arms.