|Sunset, Lighthouse Beach, Lake Erie, Photo straight off the camera|
From the time I was little and living a life that felt unsafe to me, I have been an optimist. I told myself at the age of 9 that I was sad but that I would live through it and have a life of my own some day.
I have spent too many days of my life wishing to not wake from sleep, and yet...I brushed myself off the next day or the next week and started all over again.
I have searched and searched through every religion for answers, through all the psychology for an understanding. I wrote; I talked; I cried; I yelled; I did yoga, hour after hour; I ate well; I ate differently; I tried it all and I kept trying.
I gathered bits of light here and there and I put them in my pocket and soon I realized I had a full blown SUN that was radiantly feeding me even on the days that felt dark and long.
A sun that soon energized me enough that I was able, when presented with the option, to say a GIANT YES to this life, once and for all.
I danced. I dance. I am dancer. I am healing. I am healed. I facilitate healing for others.
Not that I don't still have a day here and there that is...trying, but I know now even in the midst of the shadowy-ness that the shadow is not real. That what is real is that Sun.
I have a different body now than I did three years ago, before that Giant Yes.
I have a different mind, a different heart.
But I have the same Will to Survive, to Thrive, to not be Deprived.
I have the same Will to Do the Work.
I never give up.
What about you?
How hard are you willing to work for this?
Only once or twice a week for an hour will not do it.
This is your life. Right now. Not in between the busy parts. But right now. There is no homework; there is just the always work.
It is hard but the alternative sucks.
Why would you choose the sucks?
Because you do every single time you let go of the work. Every single time you head back to bed or skip that class that puts you back into yourself or say yes to something you know will only deplete the bits of sun you have collected.