Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Happy Happy Joy Joy


I am reposting a piece I wrote for the October newsletter, which you can subscribe to here.


And Now We Are One

 

Talents that lie dormant in our souls destroy us from the inside out.
Creation goes on creating through us. We are the only hands God has.
Find the thing that stirs your heart and make room for it.
Life is about the development of self to the point of unbridled joy.

From Monasteries of the Heart, Joan Chittister

 
And so the dancing that had lain dormant in me was what set me free once I allowed it freedom.  And with every yes to this larger creation, another question has been asked, and I find myself wondering what awaits us in the coming years as we mark this important anniversary together.

Four years ago, I was content but I had not developed this self to the point of unbridled joy that Sr. Joan writes about above.  Part of me believed it possible as I was writing Blisschick daily to note the small things that are really the big things in our daily lives.

But a larger part of me believed that something as sparkling and grand as joy was reserved only for other people, that I was blessed to have what I had, to be what I had become, and that I should not wish for more, as wishing might destroy what already was.

How we work so hard to justify our own stuck, to not take responsibility for our own liberation, to be only a mediocre version of the self that cries out from the deepest, wisest parts of our hearts!

If we are very lucky, the wiser self is ever looking for the opportunity that will finally awaken us.  If we have been doing the work all along, we might be aware enough to notice the moment when it happens.  It doesn't take much, but for some of us, it does take more.

Our dear friend Ken Honard passed away in his mid-50s.  Something about him, something about his death, changed something within me.  I vowed to live more deeply, more shiny.

And so I danced.

Then I signed up for a training with no intention to do any more.  Now I average about 2 a year!

Then I said yes to a friend's invitation to "just teach one sample class."  That turned into a weekly, which turned into more weekly classes.

Then I said no, when a studio was the wrong studio for my students, and so we met (briefly) in my home.

Then I spoke aloud, "If anyone knows of a space...if it is perfect, I am ready..."

Then the space came through a student's husband and it was perfect and here we are.  One year later.

Just over three years since the larger journey began, and unbridled joy is now mine every time I stand in that studio with all of you and we are sweating, laughing, witnessing together in community.  Every time we gather for tea or talk.  Every time there are well-earned, long-time-coming tears.  Every time one of you lights up with some new level of "getting it."

It is impossible for me to express my gratitude, but you must know that all of you are what continually builds the fire in my heart and soul ever bigger, ever stronger, ever brighter.