Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Ember: How Deep Is Your Love? Really?

Though this entire TED talk is filled with brilliance, one of my favorite quotes is: "I don't accept subtractive models of love...only additive ones."

As I sat with this talk running through my mind for hours after, one place I ended up going was how we parent ourselves.

Many of us were raised with conditional love and we grew up with a deeply damaged sense of self, and then if we were lucky, we turned into seekers.

This turned out to also be a curse -- this idea that there is something outside of us that needs to be found and then all shall be well.

We know, now, because we are older and wiser and because Glinda the Good Witch says so, that everything we ever needed was in us all along.

We know intellectually but has that knowing translated into the wisdom that comes from our hearts? Or are we still seeking, kidding ourselves into thinking once in a while that we are "done" but heading right back to the book shelf or the therapist or the chosen addiction...behind our own backs?

But...what if we could parent in this way that Andrew Solomon talks about here? Not trying to fix or cure ourselves but really diving into this obsession with cure so that we might understand that it comes from an obsession with perfection. Then what if...WHAT IF...we let go of that and just accepted ourselves for the unique beings we each are.

AND THEN...(so many more "and thens...") AND THEN...after accepting ourselves just as we are, IMAGINE the collective power of that! Imagine what we could really do with these lives if we didn't see ourselves as broken or damaged but as already perfect and fitting for the purpose for which we were sent to this life?

Imagine.