Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Mystical Channel Surfing

We have not owned a television for years so when Marcy and I are (rarely) in a hotel room together, I drive her a bit bonkers with my constant use of the remote. I do this in the car with the radio, too. I can't stand the idea that there might be something even just slightly better playing on another channel.

As it turns out, I also do this with religious and spiritual practices.

From the time I was about 10 or 11, I started to read about other religions. This was not a time when it was popular to delve into Buddhism like it is now, but there I was in the stacks of our city library, perched on a step stool in the Eastern section, trying to figure it all out.

I was taught from a fairly young age that this was something of a weakness in me. A fault at my core. A crack in my foundation.

As if curiosity were a problem.

It turns out that I am still on that step stool to this day.

It also turns out that I have still been using that old measure with which to...measure myself. I have been operating all along under the assumptions that a) my curiosity was something to overcome and b) eventually I would come up with a solid answer/path that would sate said curiosity and I would never look at another religion again.

Naughty girl!

It turns out, though, that there are these things about us, these deeply essential things, that not only do not need to be fixed or gotten rid of but are really Our Things.

I have written recently about having a bit of a crisis and then some realizations that have helped with the gradual emergence from that crisis, but there's more. (There's always more.)

All of this crisis having and emerging from coalesced into some of the Biggest Realizations I have had. Like ever.

And this will seem DUH-like obvious to most of you reading (or maybe it won't).

The deepest layer of my crisis has really been about thinking that all my parts are not allowed to play together.

This idea that I have that I must keep dance separate somehow from my spiritual life even though I claim that dance is an integral part of my spiritual life (and it is...).

But but but...

When I say dance is part of my spiritual life, it is that part over there. Over THERE...down that hallway and in that separate "dance as spiritual path" room.

That room is separate from this other room where I say the rosary.

And THAT room is most certainly separate from the other room where I read about whatever freaking thing is floating my spiritual boat at the moment.

And my boat? It floats on all sorts of different lakes and it can actually depend on the time of the year, as silly as that sounds. I say, for example, that I become distinctly pagan in the summer and a bit more Buddhist in the fall and way more Catholic over the winter.


Suddenly I could see that those rooms weren't really meant to be separate at all and all that running around from room to room was exhausting me and not allowing me to do what I do best.

What is it that I do best? Thanks for asking.

I put things together.

I am the Queen of Synthesizing and Making Leaps and Comparing & Contrasting.

I am DONE, DONE! I tell you, with all these rooms, and right now I am in the process of creating just this giant ass PLAYGROUND of Mysticism for myself and eventually I will be sharing it with you all.

The very first online course I will be putting out into the world will be a massive demonstration of this new playground.

For now, if you come here or you come to the studio, just know, we do it ALL.

My studio is named for Our Lady of Guadalupe but also an INXS song, and when I talk about Jesus, I will just as quickly bring up Odin or maybe some Hindu tantra (a current obsession).

My brain is a mishmash of awesome when it comes to this stuff and there will no longer be any hiding that shiny fact.