Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Why Your Inner Little Girl Matters & Why a Tutu is Way More Serious than You Think

Me, close to or around 3

Not all of us had a great time growing up and we don't need details to empathize with that fact. Moving on...

A lot of people have been encouraged to work with their "wounded inner child," but I go about this differently.

I ask women to work with their Joyful Inner Child.

No matter what happened or at what age, there remained this seed of the perfect and shining and joyful child we were originally born to be.

The younger we were, the more access we had to this seed.

Eventually life covered the seed in crap and eventually that crap hardened into what I call the Shit Shell or the Ick Crust, and many of us forgot the seed even existed to begin with.

Many of us started to live this life or continue to live this life thinking that the Shit Shell is Real Life, Adult Life, How it Is, Reality...you know...all those terms and words that are just excuses for not wanting to dig past the ick or justifications for not trying to get back to the joy.

The seed never dies. Just like in a desert, where seeds can lay dormant for decades, awaiting rain, and when the rain comes, Oh, the COLOR and LIFE! Like a freaking resurrection.

It's the same for you. Rain. You just need the right amount of rain.

My Rain Came with Dancing and a Tutu

I was one of the Believers in the Shit Shell. For sure.

I was Very Serious.

I was very sad.

Then dancing. The rain started. The shell started to get soft and develop cracks. I could start to feel the stirrings of that seed.

I went to a training and somehow I knew that at the end of that training -- a training that I could never have imagined going to mere months before, a training that marked my re-birth -- at the end of that training, I knew I had to wear a tutu to my graduation.

I had never owned a tutu, not even as a child.

But there was something about the soft child-like happiness of a tutu that I knew would be an important talisman in my life.

It was and it still is.

After the tutu, came the flood.

With the flood came my love of all things shiny, glitter, Hello Kitty, jumping up and down and laughing my ass off, watching science fiction for hours on end, eating tootsie rolls until I couldn't sleep some nights, PINK, more glitter, so much glitter, and so much Hello Kitty, and so much more giggling.

I realized that I was back to that little girl in the picture above.

What might have looked like pure silliness (and thank god for that!) to people outside of me was actually serious internal work.

I had cracked that Shit Shell and released my Seed of Joy and sprouted so much happy.

Now for my upcoming 45th birthday, there will be roller skates.



And I shall wear them OUTSIDE and other people will look at me and say or think things like, "Who does she think she is? Oh...how childish! So ridiculous to try to re-capture her youth like that! And embarrassing!"

And I will think, "HOW SAD FOR THEM!"

Unbeknownst to most of the adult world,
joyful play happens to be the most serious work we can do.

How will you begin this work? Do you have/know a talisman that would help?

If you want to explore more deeply how to create an at-home dance sadhana (spiritual path) practice, you could join my super secret Facebook group, Inferno of Awesome. This group is invisible until you're added. FIRST, make sure you are my friend on FB, and SECOND, ask me to add you.